Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Wenger Claims Zigic Height Made for Unfair Cup Final


LONDON (DF) -- Defeated Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger has cried foul to the Football League over Birmingham's team selection in the Carling Cup Final, believing the 6'8" frame of Serbian-born striker Nikola Zigic gave the West Midlands club an unfair advantage in their 2-1 triumph at Wembley Stadium.

Despite dominating possession throughout the match, Arsenal were undone in the dying embers of the tie after Zigic, Laurent Koscielny, and Wojciech Szczesny combined brilliantly to hand on loan striker Obafemi Martins his second, and arguably biggest, goal for the Blues. The last minute defeat means Arsenal will be forced to continue their agonizing five-and-a-half year search for a major trophy.

"It's hard to swallow," admitted Billy Simon of the Arsenal Football Supporters Club. "We've gone this long believing in Arsene's plan, and we've come up with nothing, again. All the talking heads on television told us the trophy was ours. How can we not feel duped? I thought these guys were supposed to be experts."

A spokesman for the Football League confirmed they had taken a call late Tuesday evening from Arsenal chairman Peter Hill-Wood, on behalf of Arsene Wenger.

"Arsene has asked us for a replay," said the spokesman. "After spending the past couple of days considering it from all angles, he believes Birmingham should have to replay the game without Nikola Zigic in the squad. We will of course consider his grievance, but as with all things Wenger, we're going to take it with a grain of salt."

Arsenal's calamitous defending for Birmingham's second goal has been roundly lampooned in the media, but one member of the second place side was steadfast in his defense of his side's lack of defense.

"How are we supposed to compete with someone that tall?" asked the unnamed Arsenal defender. "We're not used to having to jump or concentrate, or even defend at all, really. It's not like we can just turn on at the flick of a switch."

"Sure, we've had to play against Peter Crouch before, but that's completely different. He's English and obviously not a real footballer."