Friday, March 18, 2011

Ferguson to Start Ignoring Press After Receiving Touchline Ban


MANCHESTER (DF) -- In the wake of his five game touchline ban for improper conduct by the FA, Manchester United boss Alex Ferguson has vowed not to appeal the decision, instead deciding to shift his focus onto a new policy towards the media-- one which will see him ignore the press and refuse interviews at every opportunity.

The FA's disciplinary panel charged Ferguson with improper conduct on March 3rd after the Scot criticized match official Martin Atkinson for his poor performance during United's recent Premier League defeat at Stamford Bridge. Ferguson's comments received widespread condemnation in the English press, which many feel may have contributed to the FA's swift action.

"He's going to take a step back from the mainstream media," confirmed a United press officer early Friday morning. "We've never understood why, but there is a clear bias against Manchester United in the press and that bias directly contributed to the disproportionate ban he received this week."

Ferguson's incendiary remarks regarding Martin Atkinson were made in a post-match interview with MUTV, Manchester United's internal television channel. After the interview aired, the United manager reportedly cut off all contact with the channel, refusing an opportunity to defend himself and his comments in another taped interview.

Jack Wick, a senior producer for MUTV, refuted claims the channel has a bias against Manchester United and insisted they take an open and honest approach to their reporting. "Even though we're funded directly by Manchester United and BSkyB, we like to provide balanced coverage to our viewers."

"We've been broadcasting for nearly 15 years and we feel as if we've always given him a fair opportunity to make his case to our subscribers. If someone finds our coverage to be biased, then we have a simple solution-- don't watch. We love United and we have a deep respect for Alex Ferguson. It's our job to keep people honest."

"Sometimes you just have to poke them with a stick," Wick continued. "That's how you show love."