The Mill: Monday Transfer Rumours - Sturridge in City Return?

Daniel Sturridge has issued an emphatic "please come and re-sign me" plea to Manchester City's owners after the promising young forward's big money move to West London only took him ten miles away to Bolton City Centre. -- (Daily Star)

Troubled Manchester United striker Wayne Rooney has ruled out a future move to Manchester City, as long as even-tempered Italian Roberto Mancini is in charge, insisting he would only play for managers like Tony Pulis and Sam Allardyce who favor hard-hitting long balls and flying elbows. -- (The Independent)

Barcelona will make a move for Gareth Bale this summer after closing the door on a deal for Arsenal captain Cesc Fabregas. The Catalan giants claim to have initially been put off by Bale "because he's Welsh," but changed their mind when they discovered he "plays like he's Spanish." -- (Daily Mirror)

John Terry still believes fifth place Chelsea can catch Manchester United for the Premier League title, even if they lose both of the upcoming meetings between the sides. Terry thinks Chelsea's greater experience will trump United's points total. -- (Daily Mirror)

French midfield maestro Charles N'Zogbia has claimed he still plans to leave Wigan Athletic for Ligue 1, despite a continuing lack of interest from French top division clubs. -- (Daily Mail)

Aston Villa are keen to bring in West Ham flop Robert Green to replace stalwart American Brad Friedel in goal, continuing manager Gerard Houllier's recent transfer policy of signing nothing but England B internationals. -- (Daily Mirror)

Russian left back Yuri Zhirkov has dismissed recent press reports suggesting he plans to quit Chelsea in the summer should he not break into the first team, declaring he could never play for anyone other than Roman Abramovich. -- (The Sun)

Glazers Keen to Emulate Saudi Royal Family at United

MANCHESTER (DF) -- Having once again ruled out a sale of the club he purchased in 2005, American billionaire Malcolm Glazer and his clan of Glazer directors are ready to implement a hierarchy at Manchester United that mirrors another high profile, billionaire family-- the one currently in charge of the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia.

News outlets in the Middle East had reported the Qatar royal family were preparing a formal bid for the Premier League leaders, but the current Manchester United owners came out quickly to dismiss the reports as pure speculation.

"The club is not for sale at any price," declared a Glazer spokesman to media in Tampa, Florida. "Obviously, a top club like United would interest many potential buyers, but we're financially stable and not looking to sell. We're going to keep it in the family."

The Glazers, led by their patriarch Malcolm, took control of Manchester United six years ago in a deal worth nearly $1.5 billion. The transfer of power was met with extreme hostility by United supporters, who raised grave concerns over Glazer's seemingly irrational use of borrowed money to fund his takeover of the club.

"It made very little fiscal sense," claimed financial expert and United fan Avery Alexander. "His actions saddled the club with over £500 million in debt. That would be enough to buy most of the clubs in the Premier League, all at once."

"I think [the Glazers] like the idea of absolute, unquestioned control," continued Dr. Alexander. "They see the way the players respond to [Alex] Ferguson's control and they want that for themselves."

"When the 'green and gold' gangs started showing up last season, they looked at how other controlling family groups had handled uprisings and they liked what they saw coming out of the Middle East. These days, it's like looking in the mirror."

"This series of protests against oppressive regimes didn't start last month in Tunisia-- it started last year in Trafford."

Manchester City Not Europa Favorites, Admits Mancini

MANCHESTER (DF) -- Despite a vast majority of bookmakers across Europe insisting otherwise, Manchester City manager Roberto Mancini has claimed his side aren't favorites to lift the Europa League trophy in Dublin on May 18th.

After turning on the style to collect a cool 3-0 win against Aris Thessaloniki, a scoreline which flattered the Greek giants, many European bookmakers stopped taking bets on Manchester City, with most believing it to be a forgone conclusion that City captain Carlos Tevez will wind-up lifting the cup at the Aviva Stadium.

"We're seeing the same thing all across Europe," said Ingo Metzger, a renowned betting patterns expert based out of Zurich. "Now that they're through to the round of 16, everyone is jumping on the Manchester City bandwagon. There isn't a club left in the competition that can compete. UEFA should simply award them the trophy now to save everyone the hassle of having to show up."

Mancini refused to be drawn into speculation after the match on Thursday, but did admit he viewed the competition as wide open. "We are not favorites. There are sixteen great clubs left and I'm sure one of them will win it."

"We don't like to get ahead of ourselves," declared a City spokesperson after Mancini's press conference. "We have a lot of fixtures between then and now, and there are plenty of fantastic teams left in the draw. We're just excited to be in the mix. As a club, we're taking things one game at a time."

The spokesperson revealed that the City hierarchy have taken steps to ensure seats will be available for their supporters, regardless of the cost. "So far, Sheikh Mansour has only reserved half of the publicly available tickets for the final, but that could change should we make it all the way there."

"We have the money to buy the whole stadium."

Tony Pulis Believes Stoke City Don't Play Rugby

STOKE-ON-TRENT (DF) -- On the back of recent criticism for their heavy-handed tactics in Wednesday's 1-0 loss at the Emirates Stadium, Tony Pulis has hit back at the media for portraying his players in an openly negative light, assuring them Stoke City is a football, not rugby, club.

Arsenal gave Stoke the run around during the first half of their Premier League encounter and were unlucky to go into the break ahead by only a solitary goal. Stoke turned up the heat immediately after the interval, with Arsenal manager branding their second half tactics as "thuggish" and "Welsh." Referee Peter Walton had his hands full as Stoke went about looking for anything but an equaliser.

"We don't play rugby," said an agitated Pulis after the game. "We're not anti-football as some have unfairly branded us. We don't play the game any differently than Arsenal, Manchester City, or Barcelona."

A recent comprehensive study of English league games conducted by Manchester Metropolitan University found that over the past season and a half, Stoke City games had, by far, the highest percentage of time spent with the ball off of the ground-- more than games for any other club in the Football League.

Alan Donovan-Woods, Assistant Professor of Sporting Statistics and Analysis at MMU, said the results were conclusive. "If there were a club in English football that played rugby, it would certainly be Stoke City. Most of their ball possession seems to be off the pitch, when it's in the hands of Rory Delap."

A Stoke City spokesman disagreed with the study, citing the club's depth of talent. "Technically, Glenn Whelan is world-class. He's a world-class player. We have at least a dozen players on our books who could walk into any passing side in the world."

Despite the pitch at the Brittania Stadium often looking like it's home to a rugby league side, Pulis maintains his side are proponents of the beautiful game. "Bring Barcelona to the Brittania in the dead of winter and we'll see who plays attractive, winning football."

Harry Redknapp Insists Midfield Reinforcements Still Needed

LONDON (DF) -- Fresh off the back of an unexpected 3-1 away defeat in Blackpool on Tuesday evening, Tottenham manager Harry Redknapp has repeated calls for club chairman Daniel Levy to splash the cash this summer on badly needed flair in midfield.

Tottenham's lackluster performance in front of the Blackpool goal highlighted what Redknapp believes to be a major creative deficiency within his squad-- a problem he feels can be solved with the addition of experienced attacking midfielders.

This past weekend, Redknapp signaled his intent to once again be heavily involved in the summer transfer window, telling the Sunday papers he would be open to bringing in "ten or twelve" new attacking players, regardless of whether Spurs qualify for next season's UEFA Champions League.

"The gaffer knows what it takes to be successful in this business," remarked one Spurs player outside Bloomfield Road. "He's been around forever. We don't question his logic."

"I think he'd send out a team without defenders if he could. Even after we won against AC Milan last Tuesday, he wasn't happy with our performance. He wants goals and we're simply not providing them."

Spurs' Champions League victory against AC Milan at the San Siro has been hailed as "miraculous" and "well deserved" in the English press, but Redknapp reportedly failed to see the upside.

"It really was rubbish," the Spurs manager is quoted as saying to Italian media after the match. "I know you like your 1-0 score lines here in Italy, but none of our supporters like 1-0 results, let me tell you. Least of all me."

It remains to be seen if Tottenham Chairman Daniel Levy will go along with Redknapp's ambitious plan, already having spent upwards of £150 million over the past four seasons.

Chelsea Ready Mourinho as Ancelotti's Collapse Continues

LONDON (DF) -- Chelsea stand poised to send shockwaves throughout the footballing world by sacking under-fire manager Carlo Ancelotti and re-appointing revered former boss Jose Mourinho to the job he vacated nearly three and a half years ago.

Sources within the club described a change as "imminent," but refused to speculate whether the managerial realignment would occur before or after Chelsea officially miss out on next season's Champions League to Tottenham and Manchester City.

Real Madrid coach Mourinho has long been rumored as the only possible successor to Alex Ferguson at Manchester United, with the Portuguese himself confessing his love for England the English game at every opportunity.

"It's always important for me and my family to be happy and I love English football and my family love England," Mourinho said in January. "In the Premier League we did great things and created history for Chelsea with a great contribution to some great moments in this incredible football country. I have always maintained I will return one day but maybe it will come sooner than I expected."

With Chelsea's struggles in the Premier League well documented and an embarrassing fourth round FA Cup exit at home to Everton now in their back pocket, many senior players feel a change at the top is necessary for the club to push on and attempt to salvage what little is left of their season, echoing concerns from the terraces.

"It should have been us lifting the trophy in Madrid last year," charged one Chelsea supporter outside Stamford Bridge on Saturday, referring to Mourinho's Champions League victory with Inter. "I don't know if we have much chance left for anything with this lot. The way we played against Everton, Copenhagen look like a tough task."

"Hopefully we'll still snag a Europa League place this season," he continued. "That competition seems more at our level."

Chelsea currently sit fifth in the table, two points adrift of Tottenham in the fourth and final Champions League place.

The Mill: Sunday Transfer Rumors - Tevez to United?

Manchester United manager Alex Ferguson is considering a shock summer move for fan favorite and Manchester City playmaker Carlos Tevez after admitting he "got it wrong" -- sending sinful striker Wayne Rooney in the opposite direction. -- (Daily Mail)

Blackburn have scoffed at Manchester City's £40m asking price for mercurial Paraguayan Roque Santa Cruz, with owners Venky's Limited insisting they won't waste more than half that figure on the injury-prone forward. -- (Daily Mirror)

Harry Redknapp insists Tottenham Hotspur's failure to secure the riches of Champions League qualification next season wouldn't detract him from bringing in at least "ten or twelve" new attacking midfielders this summer. -- (Daily Express)

Manchester United will raid Everton's youth system in the summer with dual multi-million pound bids for promising midfielders Jack Rodwell and Dan Gosling after giving up hope of developing their own future England internationals. -- (Daily Mail)

Arsenal captain Cesc Fabregas has moved one step closer to joining Barcelona by thanking them for their second half collapse during the UEFA Champions League round of 16 tie. It is believed the extra revenue will allow the Gunners to lower their asking price for the £50m-rated Spanish midfielder. -- (The Sun)

Fernando Torres is hoping to move back to Liverpool when the transfer window opens in July after failing to settle in rainy, English-speaking west London. -- (Liverpool Echo)

Newcastle United talisman Joey Barton has planned to engineer a move to Aston Villa in order to increase his chances for an England call up after a text message from new Villa signing Darren Bent convinced him Fabio Capello doesn't believe English players playing in Tyne and Wear are actually English. -- (Guardian)

Mancini Hopes Fringe Players Won't Help County Progress

MANCHESTER (DF) -- Manchester City manager Roberto Mancini is hoping fringe squad players won't knock his side out of the FA Cup tomorrow afternoon as League One strugglers Notts County visit the City of Manchester Stadium for a fourth round replay.

Injuries to several key players and a congested fixture list have forced Mancini to scrape the proverbial bottom of the barrel, handing probable starts to players who, under any reasonable standards, wouldn't normally be in contention. A source at City's Carrington training ground confirmed Mancini's dilemma.

"Roberto is really fretting Sunday's match," said the anonymous source. "He's frustrated. Jo and [Patrick] Vieira are both in line for starts. I think he probably wishes he had gone after a few more players in January."

Former City trainee Liam Murphy, who now follows Manchester City with the Manchester Evening News, feels Mancini's worries over his starting eleven are justified.

"Vieira is well past his prime," Murphy opined. "Five years ago, City would have had something special with him coming off the bench. Now he's off the pace. He belongs in an over 30s league because these 20-somethings keep giving him the run around."

"Jo, on the other hand, is a complete enigma. I always get the feeling he's one touch away from something special. The problem is, he has no first, second, or third touches, so he spends most of the time with his head in his hands, watching the ball roll away."

Murphy continued: "Notts County are too much him. I think his level of talent is right around League Two, where simply being Brazilian scares defenders enough to gift you goals."

Manchester City currently sit 59 places above Notts County in the Football League table.

Pep Won't Blame Fabregas, Shakira for Arsenal Loss

LONDON (DF) -- Fresh off a dramatic second half collapse which saw Arsenal turn their Champions League round of 16 tie on its head, Barcelona manager Pep Guardiola refused to blame off field distractions for his side's defensive complacency after the break.

A sparkling attacking display gave Barcelona a deserved lead going into the interval, but Arsenal stormed back to score two goals in five minutes, giving them a slim 2-1 advantage to take to the Nou Camp in three weeks time.

Reports emanating from Spain seemed to suggest Barcelona defender Gerard Pique fielded a phone call during half time from his pop superstar girlfriend Shakira. The reports assert the call contributed to Pique's drop in concentration for both Arsenal goals, and his picking up of a needless yellow card, which will now see him suspended for the second leg.

Similar reports also suggest Barcelona may have taken their foot off the pedal intentionally to win over Arsenal manager Arsène Wenger and prized asset Cesc Fabregas. Barcelona have insisted any deal for Fabregas is "dead in the water," at least for the time being.

Speaking to Spanish media giant Brumoso Periódico, Pep Guardiola refuted claims his team lost their concentration during half time.

"Nothing that has been said happened. We were prepared [for the second half]. My players don't take phone calls during games and we don't think about Cesc anymore."

Brumoso Periódico also quoted an unnamed club source at Barcelona who seemed to contradict Guardiola's version of events. "I saw [Gerard] Pique on the phone. Who he was talking to, I couldn't say."

"I know for a fact we're still after Cesc," the source continued. "Losing to Arsenal this season and making them happy might make them more likely to sell. The further they progress, the more money they make, the less we'll have to pay to buy him in the summer."

"It all makes perfect sense."

Di Matteo Sacked for Trying to Buy Team of Strikers

BIRMINGHAM (DF) - Reports emerging from the West Midlands suggest Roberto Di Matteo was sacked by West Bromwich Albion for attempting to buy at least 29 strikers during the January transfer window.

Baggies chairman Jeremy Peace took the unusual step of sacking the former Italian international midfielder earlier this month, less than a year after he led them back to the Premier League. It was initially thought Peace made the decision because he had confused his club with a midtable side, but it now appears he was acting to save his club from an act of football experimentation.

"He was too flamboyant," remarked Peace during a recent interview. "We had a good relationship apart from his flamboyance."

West Brom's sporting and technical director Dan Ashworth confirmed the amount of striker bids in a statement on the club's official website. "We actually made bids on 29 strikers in January to take on loan. I can't really believe it either."

When asked for further comment from the club, a West Brom spokeswoman failed to sufficiently elaborate and refused to confirm the excess strikers were the sole reason Di Matteo was let go. "Roberto left for footballing reasons. We appreciate his tireless work during the transfer window this past January. What we tried was unprecedented and it didn't work out."

A League Managers Association spokesman, speaking on behalf of Di Matteo, had a different opinion. "What Roberto did isn't without precedence. It would have worked out. A lot of managers have used the 0-10 formation successfully in the past. They play strikers out of position all the time. Roberto wanted to bring an all-out-attack mentality to West Brom, and, unfortunately, the powers that be wouldn't let that happen."

Last week, the Baggies appointed ex-Liverpool manager and perennial anti-attacker Roy Hodgson as Di Matteo's successor.

"We're surprised and lucky to have him," said Ashworth of Hodgson. "He fits our vision of the anti-football perfectly."

Abromovich Hoping for Torres Refund This Summer

LONDON (DF) -- Chelsea supremo Roman Abromovich is reportedly considering asking his associates to ask Liverpool for a £50 million refund after a string of pedestrian performances have left his British transfer record signing Fernando Torres marginalized at the club.

The Chelsea boss, along with many at the club, including manager Carlo Ancelotti, feel they were "duped" into paying an exorbitant sum for a player who is clearly not on par with the media's hype or his hefty price tag.

"It's nothing personal," said a Chelsea spokesperson speaking in a condition of anonymity. "He doesn't look the part in training and everyone can see he certainly doesn't look the part on the pitch. We all thought we had found the final piece of the puzzle, but we've been left scratching our heads because it doesn't seem to fit."

Chelsea supporters have echoed concerns from the club over Torres. Many feel let down after the euphoria that surrounded his arrival at the end of the January transfer window.

"It's disheartening, to say the least," lamented one Chelsea supporter outside of Stamford Bridge. "He can't play in the same team as Anelka and Drogba. I was expecting a younger, better-in-the-air version of [David] Villa. All I see is Stuart Larkin."

Spanish media outlet Brumoso Periódico have quoted a Torres associate in Madrid as saying the former Atlético striker would "welcome a dream move" back to Liverpool should slumping Chelsea fail to secure a UEFA Champions League place for next season.

The Chelsea spokesman continued, pressing a refund would be in the best interest of all parties concerned. "We feel very strongly that when Liverpool realize what £30 million has bought them from the northeast as cover, they'll come around to the idea of having Fernando back."

"To break it down simply, it's just a clash of colors. It doesn't feel right. He looks better in red than he does in blue."